var first;
var words; 
var war;
var gf;  
var introff; 
var cs;
intro=0; 
cs=0; 

first="Hi, my name is Redphantom Xenpsychous. Now, I know the question you're probably asking yourself right now, "Is my real name really Redphantom Xenpsychous?" Yes, yes it is. My parents are weird people.  Xenpsychous isn't even their last name. Once, I was asking my father why it had to be that way, he was taking me to my first day of elementary school. After I asked my question, he leaned over to me and said, "Because you could be a failure, son, and your mother and I don't want to be associated with a failure." Then I told my father that the TV said I could be anything, and my father laughed at me. He said that the TV had lied to me, but that he and my mother weren't going to lie to me. We pulled up to the school, and my father looked at me with and said, "If it makes you feel any better...they're all going to be failures too." My father pointed to all the kids hurrying into school and laughed. Then he pointed to a girl, "See her? She's going to be a prostitute. You can tell, she's what? Five? Already dresses like a whore." My father pointed to another kid and said, "See that kid, stuffing his fat face? That's an addictive trait, he's doing heroin when he grows up." Then my father pointed a young boy and a football uniform and said, "See him? He's going to be a lifelong McDonald's employee." My father chuckled again and then threw me out of his truck. I would be angry at him for what he said to me that day, but the thing is, I never saw him again after that. After school that day, I stood in the rain waiting for him for two hours. It was storming, there were tornado sirens going off. He never showed up. I went to my teachers and tried to get them to give me a ride, but they wouldn't, because under health problems, my parents listed rapist. So, my teachers were afraid of me. I decided as soon as the sirens turned off that I was just going to walk home. It turned into a three day odyssey. See, I knew my address, my parents told me what it was, but it was the wrong address, so I got lost. I went to a few houses and tried to get some other families to adopt me, but, my parents put up fliers saying I was a rapist so all those families turned me down. When I finally got home, my mother just blamed me for the fact that my father was gone, and then she bitched me out for missing school. She said if I kept that up, I would end up like my father. Well, that was a completely true story about my childhood. Nothing made up about it.";
words="Happy holidays everyone. I hope that you all had a good Christmas. My Christmas sucked. I went to my grandmother's house for Christmas, and I wound up getting yelled at for four hours. My trouble began when I was carrying some piping hot greenbean casserole into her house. I went to set it down onto her kitchen counter when it spilled all over me. So, naturally I swore like a sailor. My grandmother didn't like this too much. She told me that I was not to talk like that in her house and furthermore, that since I am smart, I should use my big words. So I said to her, "How about I just use a short clever one, limn. Limn means to depict by drawing or painting." I hate it when people encourage me to use big words. It shows ignorance. Fuck is one of the most clever and most flexible words in the English language, and it's only four letters. Besides, some big words are just stupid. Like onomatopoeia. Onomatopoeia is the dumbest word in the English language. If someone brags about using an onomatopoeia, and they're not spelling it, you just need to find a wooden stake and kill them with it. It has to be a wooden stake, that's because it's a well known all vampires need their partners to speak onomatopoeia to them so that they can get off. If the victim isn't a vampire, then you should rejoice, you just cleaned the gene pool. I hate the word onomatopoeia, it's stupid. It's a literary device that can be mastered by a four year old. There is nothing clever about it at all. I have been thinking about this for months, and I only thought of one clever usage of an onomatopoeia. It is as follows: a guy walks into a gas station, pulls out a gun and tells the clerk to give him all the money in the register. The clerk gives him the money and then the thief yells, "BANG!" The clerk craps his pants, realizes he isn't dead, and then stares up at the thief. The thief says, "Oh snap, that was an onomatopoeia." After that, the thief leaves the store and in the parking lot he gets impaled by five wooden stakes. Someone should post that on youtube as an example of what happens when you use onomatopoeia. Your ass gets killed by vampire hunters. I would watch that video at least ten times, and then I would rate it. And I would send it to all my friends, but they wouldn't watch it because of the "creamed corn, tent, Vaseline, donkey, ten matches, and a virgin video" incident. I don't how to end this. When I was ranting about this to my relatives, they just kind of forced me to leave  the premises. I didn't even get to open my presents. All because I said the f-word...what did my mother say it was? One hundred fifty seven and a half times? I know it's a decimal number, because my grandmother kept cutting me off. Apparently it would have been ok if I had only said it once, because I'm sure me saying the word only once would keep all the younger members of my family from hearing it and repeating it, if that's what they wanted to do. I don't even see what the problem is. My uncle kept ranting about how we should just nuke the entire middle east. He was halfway serious too, and he kept talking about how we should just look all of these protesters up. How we should keep gitmo open and torture all these terrorists, and this was tolerated. How was what he said less vulgar than a few words?";
war="I was walking down my street the other day, and I found a wallet on the ground. It had three hundred dollars in it, so I kept it. Later, when I was in my apartment, I heard some yelling outside. This guy was screaming, "Where's my wallet?" and some other guy responded hysterically, "I don't know. I swear I don't know." They went on like that for a few minutes before the first guy said he was going to start breaking the other guy's limbs. Then there were some banging sounds, and screaming, I listened to the noise as I made ramen noodles. After that there was a lot less banging and screaming, and I heard a voice say, "Oh shit, he didn't have it." Then there were some more banging sounds like someone was moving something heavy down some stairs as I watched the TV. I watched the news and I saw the Israelis fucking up some Hamas terrorist scum, then I remembered the wallet, and I realized that I probably started the fight that I so gleefully listened to earlier. I felt bad, because now that violence was my fault. It was ok when someone else was doing it, but if I was to blame, that sucks. Then I related that to sending soldiers to war for you, just so you don't have to kill your enemies yourself and I looked up at the screen to see the carnage going on somewhere else in the world as I ate my ramen noodles. I started to think about war. I thought about how pointless it is. I thought of all the wars in history, and I noticed something, war is really just the most inhumane form of cockfighting. Some world leader goes up to another and says, "I bet you my country that my poor people can beat yours." and the other leader says, "Ha, I see your country and raise you some colonies." Other leaders get in on the action, and pretty soon you've got a world war on your hands. Then the leaders go and they get their people to attack the other people, but rational people won't just go and kill other people, so they have to use the special attack phrase. That phrase is, of course, "They call their God something different." "They call their God something different.", that's the attack phrase to get the poor people to go and attack the other poor people. Every citizen of a nation is indoctrinated to attack on that cue from birth. So, you've got all of these poor people running around, shooting other poor people, and eventually, one side wins over the other. Then the other side gets to run around shouting, “What we call God is his real name!” You notice that in Judaism the true name of God is unknown? That's why. So that people can run around debating what his real name is. Meanwhile, the winning leader gets his new land, and immediately begins to build on it. The leader gets rich, and he gives a small share to the poor people to make it seem worthwhile, and then the only problem he has left is to decide what to do with the rest of the poor people. All the ones that got wounded during the big God debate. What do you do with them? The leader can't give them real health care, no, that would detract from all the money the leader got from government contracts. The leader couldn't just put them down, no that would be cruel, and people get touchy about veterans being homeless, can't do that. That's why, after a big war, the leaders just give all their unwanted soldiers away to young women. Every young woman wants a soldier. You know, they can have the soldier sleep on the edge of the bed. And they can teach them tricks, like the, "Put your fucking clothes in the hamper trick." Plus, then the young woman and the soldier can have kids and create more soldiers. Leaders always encourage their people to do this, they have to, to get ready for the next big cock fight. They just have to do it, and then they can have the young women indoctrinate their kids with the teachings that this was all justified and that what they call their God is the right thing. I was explaining all of this while standing at my door speaking to a man looking for a missing wallet. I was hoping he would realize how pointless violence was. He did, but I'm out three hundred dollars. Although, oddly enough, I still have a small picture of his kid. ";
gf="Everyone always gives me funny looks when I talk about today's topic, but I'm going to talk about it anyway. It's about my girlfriend. Yeah, I know, it's weird, you would think a guy like me would be doomed to be forever single, but no, I have a girlfriend. The thing is, she's imaginary, and she's fat and ugly. Plus she's kind of a bitch. Everyday I come home from work and watch TV, or sometimes I just watch TV, but I'll be watching TV and she'll just stand around screaming at me. I don't know what about, I generally just tune her out, but it seems like something to do with being ignored. I don't really care. One day, she was doing this, and she suddenly got really quiet. I looked over at her in astonishment and I saw that she was passed out next to an empty bottle of Tylenol. So, I called 911 and told them that my girlfriend had a really bad headache. Later, the doctor was telling me something about her wanting to die or something, so I just said, "Shit, if she wants to die so bad, I'll just take out my shotgun and shoot her in the face." The doctor stared at me for a moment and then he said that my girlfriend was suffering from really bad headaches and that I shouldn't let her overdose on pills. That's why I needed to lock the medicine cabinet, and keep her away from sharp objects and such. I didn't do that, however, I did replace all our pills with placebos. That got me yelled at again, and I had to listen that time because I forgot to pay my cable bill that month. She just wound up staying at her just-friend Kevin's house for a few days. They do that, they go out to dinner and have sleep overs and stuff. My girlfriend really likes Kevin, but I don't know why. He's always trying to one up me and show that he's better than me, like, somehow he's intimidated by me or something. Another thing about my girlfriend, she would be pissed at me for saying this publicly, but she hates my site so I'll say it anyway. Her vagina smells. It smells bad, it reeks. I can smell it from down the street. I've been trying to get her to do something about it. She won't, that's why I took matters into my own hands. I got a bunch of cranberries, and I was going to force feed them to her, but, that seemed wrong to me. What I really needed to do was get some kind of hose which would fit into her vagina, and then spray something directly into her vagina. That thought led to another and that's when I decided to take a cranberry and shove it up into my urethra. That was painful. It took six hours. I tend not to cry. I cried. I wept like a little girl. It was one of the worst experiences I've ever had. Then my girlfriend wasn't in the mood that night, so it made it worse. I had to walk around with a cranberry in my dick for three days before she was ready to go. Then my girlfriend started bitching at me because I couldn't get off. It took me three hours nineteen minutes and thirty three seconds to climax. When I did, the cranberry flew out, only it had sprouted a tail, and it could speak. It said something about world domination, but I let it go, not knowing that it would come back to kill me later. My girlfriend left the house after that, saying that she just couldn't take it anymore. I was glad, the sight of her face made me vomit at least three times that night. She's really ugly. They didn't even know she was a girl until she sprouted tits. You might be wondering why I'm still with this woman? Simple. She has skills. She works as a glass blower at an amusement park. You know, the type that blow glass into bowls? Yeah, that's what she does for a living, and she's good at it. She blows good. No matter how bitchy she is, she can always give me a really good bowl. Well, I would go on, but my girlfriend is yelling at me again. Apparently I forgot to pay my half of the utility bill this month...";
sb="I have a confession to make: I hate football. I don't watch it. All my roommates watch it, my imaginary girlfriend watches it, I don't watch it. It pisses me off, every weekend, I tried to sleep, and then I would hear my roommates chanting for this team or this one, and it would wake me up. Then I would go into work the next day, and I wouldn't be able to work. I got fired. That's why I hate football. Even the Super Bowl. It's just a waste of time this year. I don't even care about the commercials anymore. That's why I compiled a list of 12 things I would rather do than watch the Super Bowl. 1. Write this. 2. Run around my neighborhood naked, carrying a PVC pipe threatening to beat people with it and yelling about how much I hate the Super Bowl. 3. Do my taxes. 4. Mow my lawn, because that needs to be done in February. 5. Jump off of a plane onto the Statue of Liberty and take a leak off of it.  6. Wrestle with Grizzly Bears. 7. Give out birth control pills and condoms to elementary school kids. 8. Build a giant homicidal robot. 9. Go to a bookstore, get a romance novel, tear out it's pages, and then give people paper cuts with them. 10. Buy tampons. 11. Walk around town carrying a dead dolphin. 12. Go to a field and watch people throw a ball around while running into one another and getting on top of each other with breaks for advertisements for products and music. ";
jesus="My apartment burned down last week. I was fired from my job. My imaginary girlfriend is suing me. My cat died. My computer broke down. I lost a hardrive. My headphones broke. My mother committed suicide and mentioned me in the note. A friend of mine got hit by an IED in Iraq. My MP3 player is breaking down. My business went under. My house got hit by a meteorite, and my best friend is trying to convince me I have a major psychological disorder, because he claims most of this never happened...what an asshole. Anyway, life has been hard for me lately. That's why I decided I would turn to religion. I went out and bought a bible, but it was a hard read, so I had to put it down. Instead, I did what I always do when I need to learn about something but I'm too lazy to read a book...I watched television. That confused me. I gathered from the TV that Jesus was this loving, caring, compassionate, peaceful individual who hated queers and anyone who didn't believe in him. It just didn't make sense to me. It seemed to me that Jesus was a bit of an oxymoron, a paradox. That's why I went to the number one experts on Jesus: my relatives. At least I assume that they're experts on Jesus, because they're always trying to get me to convert. Anyway, I told them to meet me at a church and teach me about the bible. It was raining, and they showed up, and I didn't...that they knew of. You see, I made them wait in the parking lot for me for two hours, and really, I was behind a bush, observing them. I figured that I could gather from their actions what their idol was like. I kept watching them, and I recorded a few common traits that stood out: all these Christians were judgmental, bigoted, liars(they talked smack about me behind my back.), hateful, and violent. I was confused, because this clashed with my view of Jesus. I had always heard he was kind of a hippy, and a rebel. That couldn't be the case, because many of the Christians I know are all about conformity. What the hell? I'm beginning to think that this figure we see is just a front. How can the Jesus we see be the one Christians follow? The one they're always asking to smite someone or another? Come on? Seriously? Have you seen this guy? Would you want this hippy fighting all your wars for you? He looks like a nerd. Why do you think he always had twelve other people with him when he took on the popular figures of his day, including the church? One of those apostles must have been a badass, but little did they know, they weren't protecting the real Jesus. No, because Christians would never follow a counter culture hippy icon. No, I figured it out. From my observations of Christians, at least the loudest, most annoying, hateful kind, I realized that Jesus can only be a giant homicidal robot. A giant robot that will hover over them and force them to do the right thing, and smite their enemies for them, and force them to conform to it's will, and protect them from the evil counter culture that threatens to...live life the way it wants to. At least that's what I think Jesus must be...either that, or maybe Christians just don't do a good job of following his teachings...";
facts="Here is a list of random things about me I wrote because I was bored...and some of them are actually true: My favorite color is #00af00. My worst fear is packing peanuts, because I had a baby sitter once who used to force feed them to me as punishment. My number one hero is the rubber band man from those old office max commercials, because he ruins children's lives. And he does it while preparing them for real life. Plus, he has fun doing it, it is like a game to him, his game is ending yours, and that makes him a winner. I wish I could be the rubber band man some day, but, I have no sense of rhythm...I hate the Flintstones. The Flintstones is messed up. It encourages kids to smoke cigarettes and abuse animals and there is nothing funny about that. Once, when I was a child, I watched the Flintstones, and I put ricin in my dogs mouth because I thought it was a magic machine to turn ricin into candy, and it died. Don't watch the Flintstones. I hate tentacle porn. It's repulsive. Don't watch it. Before I die, I want to Norwegian Sleigh Ride down the steps of the St. Louis Gateway Arc. I have an obsessions with tornado sirens. I have an illegitimate son named Wayne...I stuck around just long enough to give him a name that would get his ass kicked one day. My worst nightmare was that some pregnant chick shows up at my doorstep, and then she says, "I'm pregnant." and then I respond, "I see that." and she says, "It's yours." and I reply, "It can't be mine because we didn't..." Then she gives a slip of paper which says there is a 100% chance I am the father, and I spend the rest of the dream trying to convince her to get an abortion, but she doesn't. Those were some random facts about me. ";
rm="(This list may contain spoilers to the movies listed.) This is a list of my top ten favorite romance movies. You might be wondering what makes me qualified to compile such a list. Absolutely nothing. Though, I did write this list while sitting in an leather armchair next to a fireplace while drinking tea, wearing a monocle, and smoking tobacco out of a pipe, that makes this list law. 10. Taken: Taken, a French film released in 2008 comes in at number 10. What makes it a good romance film? It's French. It's also a classic tale about this man who goes to great lengths to retrieve his girlfriend from her captors. I think the man's pet name for his girlfriend is "daughter", but that's just because Liam Neeson is into that sort of thing. 9. The Diary Of Anne Frank: Coming in at number nine is a really good movie that not enough people have seen. It's a cult film, but it's great, it's so good that they should make the screenplay required reading in school. It is a story about a teenage Jewish girl in Nazi Germany during the Holocaust. Now, I know what you're thinking, "Oh, this story is probably about Anne Frank falling in love with a Nazi officer who doesn't realize that she's Jewish, and her father disapproves, because the boy is a Nazi. Then, the Nazi officer realizes Frank is a Jew and suddenly he questions his beliefs and decides to go against his Nazi superiors. Fighting off the super villain Uber Hitler in an epic battle to free Anne Frank and the Jews, but in the end, he is not strong enough, so Frank's father sacrifices his life to defeat Hitler giving Anne Frank and the Nazi Officer his blessing beforehand. Then Anne Frank and the Nazi live happily ever after." right? Is that what you thought? Well, you were wrong. Surprisingly, in this story, the Nazis actually kill the Jews, and yet, in spite of that, Anne Frank still loves humanity. She loves them unconditionally, and that is what makes this movie a perfect romance film. 8. Apocalypse Now: Number eight is a movie about two lovers torn apart by the Vietnam War. So, one of them goes down a river in a boat to find the other. Unfortunately, when he gets there, he finds his lover has gone insane, because love does that. So, the protagonist kills his lover out of mercy. 7. Deliverance: This movie is one not many people get. People think of this movie and all they think of is the rape scene and they say, "How can this be a romance movie.", but they forget what this movie is really about: four guys going canoing down a river together...man love. This movie is actually a sophisticated exploration of homosexuality in a time when homosexuality was strictly forbidden. That's why the homosexuality is not more explicit in the film. And the rape scene? That was included to show unhealthy man love and have it as a foil to the healthy man love that this film is really about. What more proof that this film is really about homosexual relations between men? One of the gay characters was raped by a hillbilly. The backwards ignorance source of bigotry towards the gay community. 6. Trainspotting: This movie shows that people can't just be romantically involved with other people, they can be romantically involved with drugs, too. That's right, people can love drugs, just ask my mother's second husband. This move also shows the consequences of love, namely shitting the bed, baby killing, and HIV. 5. The Exorcist: This movie is really just a reworking of a classic fairy tale. A "princess" in this case, "Regan McNeil" gets locked up by an "evil overlord", in this case, "the demon" and must be rescued by a "knight" in this case, "Father Karras". 4. Frankenstein: This movie is about a tortured soul, named Frankenstein's Monster, searching for true love. He's a loner because society rejects him, but eventually he finds what he is looking for...in a farmer's young daughter. Tragically, this romance comes to an end when Frankenstein's Monster kills the young girl due to a misunderstanding. So, Frankenstein's Monster further withdraws from society and becomes a cold blooded killer. At the end of the film Frankenstein's Monster ends up in a windmill where the townsfolk set his ass on fire, because they come from a society not yet advanced enough to understand or accept the love between a hideous monster and  little girl. 3. Dirty Dancing: I don't know why I put this movie on the list. I guess I just couldn't think of ten good romance movies, so I just stuck this one in here, despite the fact it isn't really a romance movie. Also, I remembered it because my mother tells this story about how when I was a small child, and she wanted to go do something else, she would pop this movie in and I would watch it and not get into trouble so she could go do something else...I'm sure that's just a story she made up to destroy my confidence. She does that. 2. The Passion of The Christ: Don't think that this movie is a romance film? Oh yeah? Then why did Mel Gibson, the writer/directer/producer of the film say of it, "This is a movie about love, hope, faith, and forgiveness..." See, ask Mel Gibson, it's a movie about love, the creepy kind of love. Mel Gibson's love for Jesus. Just think of Jesus like a celebrity, and Mel Gibson is like a crazy fan who wrote a story for his celebrity crush. Just think, when Gibson presents his movie to Jesus in heaven, a bunch of arch angels will drop his ass like a stone. The passion actually reminds of this story this one guy I know wrote for his ex girlfriend before she became his ex girlfriend. The story in question caused him to be shot with horse tranquilizer, thrown into a dog kennel, and then be arrested. After the incident in question, said friend of mine showed up at his now ex girlfriend's house and apologize. This resulted in me-him, being tasered. I said him. Anyway, after that my friend had a restraining order placed on him so he could not go and apologize to his ex girlfriend...for writing a story about how he was going to kill and eat her after delivering a story to her about killing and eating her. You would think she would understand that it was just a story, but she didn't...what a bitch.  1. Godzilla: For the number one romance movie on the list, I actually have a series of romance movies, because it's stupid, unnecessary, and excessive. Just like "love". And by the series, I'm referring to the old Japanese movies, not the shitty American remake. These movies have a special place in my heart, because I was really into them when I was a child. Godzilla was the first thing I ever really geeked out over. Now, this is a complex story, spanning 28 movies. The beginning of the story is really revealed in movie 18, where it is shown that Godzilla saved the life of Japanese soldiers during a battle during WWII. Then, Godzilla gets nuked, just like Japan did, and that makes him into a mutated beast, just like it did to Japan. Godzilla goes to find a woman in Japan, because he knows that a Japanese mutant is the only person who would accept him. Unfortunately, the Japanese government mistakes him for a giant monster bent on destruction and shoots missiles at him and electrocutes him and shit. That causes him to go on a rampage. Godzilla is a classic example of what people are like when they are so hideous that other people scream and run away at the sight of them. The man just wanted to be loved, but he wasn't, so he was a prick for about eight movies. Then, in movie eight, Godzilla adopts a son, and at the end of the movie Godzilla hugs him, and then magically Godzilla becomes like a superhero for the next few movies. There's a lesson in this. After this hug, Godzilla basically becomes a good guy, battling “evil” monsters who just can't feel love. Like space monsters, and robots, and ancient monsters. Space monsters can't feel love because love was invented on Earth, and is thus reserved for Earth monsters and humans. Robots can't feel emotions. And, of course, ancient creatures were around before love was invented, so they just can't understand it. Everyone knows that love was invented by Jesus.(See number two.) Then at movie 16, the series was rebooted, and magically, Godzilla was a prick again, because movie 8 was erased. Further proof that these movies are romance movies: it has a movie with a giant rose monster, a moth based monster, and faeries that can fit in your pants. Just don't forget the main moral of these movies: if you hug someone, you can make them a superhero. So, you just remember that, the next time you see someone down, just give them a hug, it will make them a superhero. ";
boring="This is rare for me, but I'm actually posting this as myself. Nothing I post here will be made up. The reason for this special post is because one year ago today I finished and posted Geek Force Issue 1: How Not To Make a Good First Impression. It lived up to the title. Stephen, my harshest critic, ripped that issue a new asshole a few days later, and the result was the redeemable Issue 3. I'd like to think I've gotten progressively better at the comics making thing, so I'll be remaking Issue 1 later to see just how far I've progressed. Now, if there's one thing I've learned over the past year, and I've been telling this to all my friends, it's this: don't make a Webcomic. Making a Webcomic will ruin your life. It eats up all your time, you have to pull all nighters. It's a very time consuming process, and I do most of it on his own. Luckily, Stephen comes over every week or so and contributes art. Still, I've gone and created the Webcomic, it's ongoing, it didn't go on hiatus like it risked doing at least five times in the past year, the delays haven't necessarily killed us, so, we're still going. I guess the only thing left to talk about Geek Force wise is it's origins. Geek Force has actually been a long time in the making. Since 2004. The first draft of it was written in May of 2005. We originally wanted to make a flash cartoon, and as Virus told Redphantom, he could go ahead and make the scripts but we might never get it done. Redphantom wound up writing about a season's worth of Geek Force and a screenplay. However, everyone was a bit too busy to do the voice over work, save for Stephen and Redphantom. Redphantom worked some on the animation, the backgrounds for Redphantom's house were actually the first ones made. In the Fall of 2007. By about January, Redphantom began to think about what would happen if we couldn't get all of our voice over work done for the show in time. The Webcomic was Redphantom's backup, set before the rest of the stuff he did for Geek Force. Redphantom had the idea for arcs one and two pretty quickly. Arc three has been in the works since the deleted Issue 6, which will still appear later in arc 3. Issue 6 was originally going to introduce Mechadeus. Also, Mechadeus and Vincentius were made exclusively for the comic. Mechadeus was just meant to be Geek Force's friend with opposing political views, and Vincentius was just going to be Redphantom's landlord, and then he wound up playing a bigger role in arc 2. Then, since Redphantom and Stephen liked him so much, he got a much bigger role in arc 3, and might be written into the rest. We're also still interested as a group in getting into cartoons and video. Anyway, that's the story of how we got to where we were at this time last year. ";

function firstrant()
{
document.getElementById("text").innerHTML=first;
}

function yearone()
{
document.getElementById("text").innerHTML=boring;
}

function bigwords()
{
document.getElementById("text").innerHTML=words; 
}

function combat()
{
document.getElementById("text").innerHTML=war; 
}

function rpgf()
{
document.getElementById("text").innerHTML=gf; 
}

function superbowl()
{
document.getElementById("text").innerHTML=sb;
}

function gaintrobot()
{
document.getElementById("text").innerHTML=jesus; 
}

function random()
{
document.getElementById("text").innerHTML=facts; 
}

function readable()
{
if (intro==0)
{
++cs; 
document.getElementById("backmain").className="white";
document.getElementById("text").className="black";
document.getElementById("back").className="grp";
document.getElementById("read").className="grp";
document.getElementById("rhead").className="ghead";
document.getElementById("copyright").className="gfp";
document.getElementById("email").className="gfpl";
document.getElementById("email2").className="gfpl";
document.getElementById("link2").className="gfpl";
document.getElementById("header").src="images/gheader.png";
rantlinks();
rchange();
}
else
{
++cs; 
document.getElementById("backmain").className="white";
document.getElementById("text").className="black";
document.getElementById("back").className="grp";
document.getElementById("read").className="grp";
document.getElementById("rhead").className="ghead";
document.getElementById("copyright").className="gfp";
document.getElementById("email").className="gfpl";
document.getElementById("email2").className="gfpl";
document.getElementById("link2").className="gfpl";
document.getElementById("header").src="images/gheader.png";
introff(); 
rantlinks();
rchange();
}
}

function rantlinks()
{
for(c=1;c<=rants;c++)
{
document.getElementById("rant"+c).className="grp";
}
}

function rchange()
{
if (intro==0)
{
for(d=1;d<=rn;d++)
{
document.getElementById("rn"+d).className="white";
}
}
else
{
for(d=1;d<=rn;d++)
{
document.getElementById("rn"+d).className="black";
}
}
}

function movies()
{
document.getElementById("text").innerHTML=rm; 
}

function introff()
{
if (cs==0)
{
document.getElementById("text").className="black";
}
else
{
document.getElementById("text").className="white";
}
}

function steele()
{
if (cs==0)
{
document.getElementById("rn1").className="rp";
++intro; 
introff(); 
}
else
{
document.getElementById("rn1").className="black";
++intro; 
introff();
}
}